Please Remember
by bubble-rouge08
Summary: After two years of being in San Francisco, Sara goes back to Las Vegas to face her biggest love and fear... Nick please R
1. chapter1

Hello! This is my first ever C.S.I. fanfiction... so don't kill me if it's not in synch with anything.   
  
I'm a very big fan of these kinds of stories (NS fics) so I decided this is a good place to start. I'm planning to  
  
write a sequel to this and I hope you like this.  
  
DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN C.S.I. (but I want to be one) I DON'T OWN THE SONG... THANK YOU LEANN RIMES. DANNY PARKER IS FROM  
  
THE THIRD SEASON OF AMERICAN IDOL... HE'S THE ONE WHO SANG NSYNC'S "A LITTLE MORE TIME ON YOU" AND PATSY CLINE'S "CRAZY"  
  
FOR THE AUDITION AND SIMON LAUGHED AT HIM UNCONTROLLABLY.  
  
bPLEASE REMEMBER  
  
© CATE/TONI/b  
  
SARA  
  
It's been 2 years since I've been here last. Seems like yesterday, I boarded a plane back to San Francisco… back to my previous life/work… back home. Now, I'm in a plane again… about to land to that same place that I have discovered the real "Sara Sidle"… where I spent the most incredible 3.4 years of my life/work at… the place that I called home for those years. Las Vegas…  
  
iTime, sometimes the time just slips away  
  
And I'm left with yesterday  
  
Left with the memories  
  
I, I'll always think of you and smile  
  
And be happy for the time  
  
I had you with me/i  
  
Once I became re-acquainted with the time and place, I called the rent-A-car agency and rented a dark blue Tahoe, the same kind that I had when I lived here. I instructed them to just drop it off at the hotel I was staying at for the duration of the convention. The City of Sin hasn't changed a bit. At this late hour, the city was just bursting to life. The usual lights were like stars on the street, the hookers strut their stuff on the sidewalk, drunken men and not to mention women were already pouring out their dinners on wherever. But of course, who can forget those sweet newlyweds? Vegas is not really the Grand Canyon or Mt. Fuji but it's always on the honeymoon list of couples.   
  
As the cab rounds the corner, it stops abruptly. I snap back to reality and I notice the scene in front of me. There were police cars all around a black Corvette and some paramedics flocking around a body of a male prone on the ground. A female whom I reckon is his girlfriend was being questioned by a certain someone I know oh too well. The woman was visibly shaking and I can tell she was stuttering. Maybe because she's drunk. I was only observing from a distance and I can already tell. This is my job. A strange passion for others but this is my life. I am a crime scene investigator; I speak to victims, inspect the place where the crime or whatever took place, and also have the privilege to let the whole thing fly by without getting affected. That's what makes the job hard… not being emotionally attached. I had problems in that one field.  
  
"Uh… miss," the driver asked, "Are you going to stare at it or are we going? I mean not to be rude but I must say I'm used to this scenes and I'm telling you, it's not for the faint of heart. It's not for some beautiful young lady like you." Yeah right. I smile and nod at him signaling him to go. He's right after all. It's not for the faint of heart…blood, death, pain, tears, evilness. But this particular "beautiful young lady" handled them all.   
  
I plopped down the waterbed in my hotel room. It's kind of weird because I thought back to my life here in LV: I had my own place… well, I rented it; I had my own car… issued to me; my own… what else? Wait a minute; I didn't own anything while I was here. Oh, I had my friends. That man questioning the distraught woman back in the crime scene, well, he's my very cool and great friend Greg Sanders. Last time I heard he's a CSI 3 now. And to think he was just our Lab Tech 2 years ago. And there's my previous professor and supervisor, Gil Grissom…whom I thought I was in love with for sometime until he turned me down for dinner; which broke my heart in pieces. The other girl in our graveyard team, Catherine Willows and her little girl Lindsey. She's no little girl anymore. And Cath, she was more than a friend. She's a mentor and inspiration, juggling motherhood and work. And there's Warrick Brown. At first, we weren't at good terms but since Grissom assigned us together most of the time, we ended up being best of friends. Aside from them, there are Archie, Doc, Brass, David and several others in the whole lab.   
  
iThough we go our separate ways  
  
I won't forget so don't forget   
  
The memories we made/i  
  
The memories just kept flooding my jet-lagged brain. Sidle, it seems that you're forgetting someone. That particular somebody that sidled into your inner wall and stoked you to go on even through the worst of times? The rock that dulled your scissors, the anchor that steadied you… the man who told you that you are beautiful and made you happy even before your own father did. The man who gave you sense, gave you a life when your world shattered. The man who loved you like no one else… Nick Stokes.  
  
I smile at the simple thought of his name. Nicholas. Nicky. Nick. My cowboy. Of course, he's not mine… he was never mine. It all started after Grissom rejected me. He was there to catch me. He fulfilled his promise to not to let me fall. Although he made it while we were working on a case, candidly and haphazardly, we held on to those words. We went out after work. At first, it was simple breakfasts and lunches. Then it moved on to dinner and carnivals and quiet walks in the park. Then finally to bed. Out of all the guys I've been with, he made me feel whole. He didn't make me feel guilty and dirty. Just loved… with every sense of the word.   
  
It all fell apart when I found out about the new female Lab Tech. I thought she was just flirting with Nick because he was just irresistible; and him flirting back. By this time, I believe we were into the "relationship" 8 months. I moved in with him and Grissom had us with synchronized nights-off and frequent cases together. It was love, I'm telling you.   
  
Until, November 11, 2003, Tuesday, 11pm. It was our night-off and I offered to rush to the grocery to buy… well, protection so to speak. I was caught in a traffic jam because of some vehicular accident so the usual 10-minute drive was stretched to 30mintues. When I got back, I shouted my apologies from the front door and continued to explain until I reached our bedroom door. When I opened the door, lo-and-behold… he was there, naked as the day he was born on top of some girl… Helen Anderson, the Lab tech.   
  
They sprang apart, Helen covering herself until she looked decent and Nick falling off the bed and reaching for his boxers. "Honey," Nick started, "I… It's not what you think." Oh no! Don't "It's not what you think" me.  
  
Without raising my voice, which I am really good at, I said, "What should I think of it? I took so long so you got bored and impatient. Since you're tired of doing yourself and you don't want to pay for services, you decided to soothe another lonely soul." That simple statement left them both silent. I spoke again, "Well, Nick… Grissom called me. He tried calling you too but it seems that your phone is off. He wants me there to process evidence collected from a break-in. So you can pick up where you left off. Have a good time."  
  
iPlease remember, please remember  
  
I was there for you   
  
And you were there for me  
  
Please remember, our time together  
  
The time was yours and mine   
  
While we were wild and free  
  
Please remember, please remember me/i  
  
What a lame excuse for heading out the door. Maybe it's not time for a night-off. Good thing all my stuff was already in my Tahoe so I went straight to work sparking strange glances from everyone. I stayed there in the break room until anyone notices I was there. Luckily, Catherine came in and quickly encased me in hug. Me coming to work than to spend time with Nick meant there was something wrong. Then the whole team, including Grissom came in. I decided to tell them the story.  
  
"I'll kill him!" Greg cried. He was always protective of me. "Sara, how could he do that to you? And that Helen! She doesn't even know how to test for heroine." He carried on and soon all of them were giving me their piece of mind. I just asked them to play fair with Nick and don't clobber him and treat him differently.  
  
"Sara, he hurt your feelings and still you think about him," Grissom said in his angry voice. Yes, I do still think about him. Because I love him with all my heart.  
  
Catherine sat beside me and tightened her embrace. "Sara, come on outside and we'll talk. Warrick we'll let you handle Nick," she said and Warrick just nodded. Once outside, she started, "What are you thinking?" I shook my head. I can't think… I don't want to think.   
  
"What did I do wrong, Cath?" I finally said. "Was I not good enough? Ever since, I know I am not good enough for him, but he kept up with me. After Hank and Gil, I was a wreck. But he was there. 'Sara, I'm here for you' were his exact words when we shared our first kiss. 'Sara, you're beautiful' he told me over dinner. 'Sara, I love you' during our first night. Am I supposed to believe him now? Tell me!"  
  
She did not need to say anything, she knows that. I just need someone who'll listen. I continued on, "When he's down, I'm the first one there. When I know he's pissed off, I do everything to my power to please him even when he's drunk. A drunk Nick can be a pain sometimes… but I bear with him just like he bears with me. I don't care if after we make love, he ignores me and drifts off to sleep leaving me to cry on my pillow, to cry for him.  
  
"If he didn't want me anymore, he had all the time in the world to break it to me gently. I have no problem going back to being friends with him. After all, he's always been my best friend." I paused, gauging if Cath's getting bored. She's not so I carried on, "Why this way? Nick of all people knows I'm already damaged goods. Maybe he got into his senses… realizing he's getting recycled merchandise."  
  
At last, she talked to me, "Sara, don't call yourself that! You know you're way better than that! Maybe Nick just got blinded…" she stopped when she saw Nick's Tahoe park in front of us. She started to pull me to my feet and push me in the building when Nick placed his hand on my shoulder.  
  
"Sara, can we talk?" his voice cold and emotionless. I reckon his eyes were too.  
  
In my calmest voice, I answered, "Uh, sorry, Nick. We have some stuff to check on CODIS…" but his hand didn't move. I heard Cath shuffle behind me in hesitation on whether leaving us or staying.  
  
"Cath, you can leave. Thank you for keeping Sara company," he said and she went on with one final squeeze on my hand. "We need to talk," he repeated.  
  
"What's there to talk about?" I asked hearing my voice break and sobs overtake my body. He pulled me to his chest and let me bawl as he always does when he sees me like this. But this time it's different. I'm crying because of him… because of what he did… because I love him too much to let him go. He kept shushing me and kissing my forehead. From all those weeping I was doing, I managed to squeak a tiny, "I love you, Nick." He let me go and I continued, "How can you do this to me? I thought you loved me."  
  
"And I still do, Sara. Don't get me wrong," he spoke quietly. His voice was beginning to shake too and I can see tears form. "It's just that… this… what we have… it might be working for you but…"  
  
"It's not working for you…" I finished for him… our age-old habit. He simply nodded. That's when the tears flowed freely. I couldn't hug him… my arms were like gelatin. "Do you want to break up with… me?" Nick slowly nodded and looked at me.   
  
Not trusting his voice, he just mouthed, "I'm sorry." Gathering my strength, my lips formed what resembled a smile.  
  
"It has been fun, Nick. I'll never forget this," I gave him one final kiss on his lips. "Thank you…" Then I left.  
  
I moved back to my former place. Luckily it wasn't rented out yet. I considered placing myself at dayshift but because of Warrick, Greg and Cath's persuasions, I decided to stay; opting to stay away from him as possible. In no time, I was the old Sara again. Anti-social, loner and my 'Sara glare' was back.   
  
After some time, I couldn't stand seeing him everyday so I filed my resignation which Grissom signed half-heartedly. The very next day, I was on a plane to San Francisco. I left late at night when everyone was at work but I swear I saw him… Nick, sitting in the waiting area at the farthest chair behind me. I ignored him as he ignored me. But I risked one last glance at him only finding that he was looking straight at me with obvious tears in his eyes. I wanted to kiss him, tell him it's going to be alright. No… I love you, Nick… but this is goodbye.  
  
I woke up with a start the next morning, realizing that I was crying. I just dreamt of the last time I saw him… Nick. That's the worst I've seen him cry. I just understood that he was crying for me. He watched me go… walk out of his life forever. I check the time and it's just 6am. Great, once I wake up… I can't sleep anymore. What to do, Sara? Think!  
  
I reach for my suitcase and shuffle through my small collection of forensic magazines and find that I've read them all approximately 3 times each. Heck, another round wouldn't hurt. 


	2. chapter2

This chapter will be a short one. I'm more on Sara's emotions that of Nick's. But he's adorable when he cries.  
  
NICK  
  
iGoodbye, there's just no sadder word to say  
  
And it's sad to walk away   
  
With just the memories  
  
Who's to know what might have been  
  
We'll leave behind a life and time   
  
I'll never know again/i  
  
Damn it! I fell on my bottom again. I was soaking wet all over and plainly frustrated by everything. I stood up and started again for the half-sunk van and slipping on limestone again. This time, I hear no soft chuckle, no verbal teasing, and no one to pull me up. There's no one there only the coroner, bystanders, a survivor, the police, paramedics and Grissom. No Sara.  
  
It has been two years, Nick! Get over her! Yeah, but what if I can't? What would my life be if I valued her more than I did back then? It was too late when I found out about my real feelings for her. I wasn't playing around with her… I loved her. I still do.  
  
"Nick," Grissom tapped the top of my head. "Is something bothering you? You seem unfocused?"  
  
"Do I always since she left?" I wanted to retort but he'll have my head. Sara's departure from the team affected him most. "Nah, I'm okay… it's just that…"  
  
He helped me up. "It's Sara, is it?" I was silent indicating my defeat. "Our dilemma is that we hate change and love it at the same time; what we really want is for things to remain the same but get better."  
  
Maybe I've enjoyed the change enough. God finally gave me the perfect storm. "Robert Frost?"  
  
"Sydney J. Harris" he answered as I followed him to the van.  
  
On my way home after shift, I thought about what Grissom told me… "Our dilemma is that we hate change and love it at the same time; what we really want is for things to remain the same but get better." He was telling the truth. I hate Sara leaving my life… I love it when it hurt me so bad just to make me learn. I want things the way they were… Sara coming home before me, waking up to a home-cooked meal made by her, sleeping and waking up beside her. I felt so safe… so happy. I wanted it to be permanent… to be better. But it seems impossible. She left without saying goodbye. She's not here… and she'll never be. 


	3. chapter3

Hey there! Part three... and still standing. Personally, I think it's pretty dull in these parts... but I hope I pass...  
  
iPlease remember, please remember  
  
I was there for you   
  
And you were there for me  
  
Please remember, our time together  
  
The time was yours and mine   
  
While we were wild and free  
  
Then remember, please remember me/i  
  
Sara was exhausted after the convention. She boarded her rented Tahoe and picked up some Chinese and reading material. Sadly, there wasn't any except a pro-football magazine. "Well, it's better than nothing," she thought to herself. When she sat on her bed, eating her stir fried noodles and reading the magazine on her lap, she got the vaguest idea. She checked her watch and smiled to herself. "Only 2 hours since the graveyard shift started," she said loudly in the empty room.   
  
The magazine lay forgotten on the carpeted floor and the boxes of take-out piled in the trash can. She leapt to her suitcase and fished out her wallet. She cleared out all its contents, which consisted of her credit cards, $453, phone numbers, her CSI San Francisco ID, and a picture of her old team. And then she found the one thing she has been looking for… her CSI Las Vegas ID.   
  
Meanwhile, the graveyard shift was busy with their own cases. Grissom and Catherine were down south; Greg and Warrick were up north; Nick was working alone in the DNA lab on the van victim, Danny Parker. Grissom assigned him no field work for a while. He gave him another quote to ponder on, "Until you make peace with who you are, you'll never be content with what you have. -- Doris Mortman."   
  
Nick fumbled with the dial of the microscope as he thought, "I'm not content of what I have. I'm not at peace with myself. Up to now, I blame myself for everything that has happened." He sighed and continued his work. Every time he pauses, he thinks of how Sara would deal with this. He was at the dead end. Usually, Sara would offer to help him. But she's not here… and she'll never be.  
  
Another dark blue Tahoe joined the line-up of 5 parked in the parking lot of the building. Sara let go of the breath she has been subconsciously holding during the ride. "It's now or never, Sidle. You have to face him one way or another." She grabbed her ID and got off. Sara Sidle is ready to go back to the Las Vegas Crime Lab again.  
  
She confidently walked through the front doors of the building smiling at the security officers and the familiar faces that greeted her. She still knew her way around, thank God. When she reached the place that used to be her "office", her heart beat thrice as fast. "I'm finally here again!" she cheered for herself. Slowly, she looked around and smiled as Archie was still there and gave her an effervescent wave. Some are new people she presumed but majority are recognizable people.   
  
"Excuse me," Sara said to the busy receptionist, "can I have a look around the lab?" She waited for an answer.  
  
"I'm sorry miss but by orders of Captain Brass and Mr. Grissom, no unauthorized persons can enter the crime lab unless with an appointment," she said in one breath.  
  
But this didn't flag Sara's eagerness. "But I'm sure I won't need an appointment to go in…" and another voice answered for her.  
  
"Unless it's complimentary… Welcome back, Sara," Greg said his with sunny smile. He hugged her tight and gave her a kiss on the cheek. He led her into the lab as if they're discussing a case. "So, how are you, Sara… my Sara?" he teased putting her old ID around her neck like the good ole days.  
  
"Oh nothing much," she replied. "CSI level three back in San Francisco and I'm still that same Sara Sidle."  
  
"What, loner? Anti-social? Vegetarian? Science-geek? Forensic magazines collector?" he teased again as they entered the break room.  
  
She laughed. "Okay, okay… don't press it! Yes, I'm still the same. And if you don't want my infamous glares, you'd better stop making fun of me." Greg put her hands up in surrender. "Congrats on the promotion, by the way. Well earned, Sanders!"   
  
"Thank you, thank you!" he bowed down as Sara slumped down the couches and put her feet up on the coffee table. Then his beeper went off, "Oh Warrick, needs me at DNA for analysis."  
  
"So you're still at DNA after all the promotions," she said with enthusiasm.  
  
"Yeah. Say, I must leave you now," he bowed down again. "Here. New issues of our great forensic magazine and I'll tell Warrick and whoever I bump into that you're here. Capish?"  
  
Sara smiled at the word and said, "Everyone except…"  
  
"Him. I know…see you, Sara and welcome back again!" he gave her a flying kiss.  
  
So she's finally here… in the break room. It was nice seeing Greg and Archie and the others again. "THIS feels like home," she thought. No five minutes have passed since Greg left, hurried footfalls were heard outside the room… and…  
  
"SARA!!!!" Cath's shrill cry emanated and the two women gave each other a hug. "Oh my goodness, I've missed you so much! Why did you change your number… we've been trying so hard to contact you."  
  
"Catherine, I missed you, too!" she said giving the older woman a hug. They sat down and engaged in a deep conversation.  
  
A short while later, heavier steps rushed down the hall. "Goodness, Sara! You're… you're here!" Grissom said in the happiest voice she heard him in. He dropped the folders he was holding on the table and gave Sara a big hug forgetting about whatever anti-social stereotype he has. "So glad you're back. I mean, for a while…"  
  
She smiled at the sudden blush that crept up his cheeks. "Thanks Gil. I'm also glad to be back. But not for long… it's a visit." She realized she was babbling. An awkward silence was shared for a second and immediately interrupted by Warrick racing with Greg to the break room.  
  
Sara threw her arms around Warrick and gave him a peck on the cheek. "How's my best friend?" he asked her as he returned the kiss. "Longer hair, I see. A bit fuller at some parts particularly at the hips. The same piercing eyes and adorable gap between the front teeth… yeah, you're still Sara Sidle."  
  
Greg announced, "GROUP HUG!" as Archie, David, Jim and Doc entered the break room. And they did… this reinstated what she said earlier, "This IS home," she said to herself. Yet deep inside her heart, there's something missing… someone missing.   
  
After the self-proclaimed union break, Grissom had them back on their feet. He even jokingly gave her an assignment. Everyone would've laughed only if he didn't say where her assignment would be. "Hey Sara, go on to DNA and help on the Danny Parker case." The laughter died down and scorching glares were directed at Grissom.  
  
"Sure, who am I working with?" she joked back not noticing the silence. When she did, Grissom looked like a sick kitten and all the people around him wore the 'Sara glares'. "Hey, I should wear those glares, you guys. What's the matter?"  
  
Cath was the first to speak up. "Nothing, Sara. Gil was just joking and really, we want you to stay here for the mean time." She nodded satisfied with her statement.  
  
"Surround yourself with people who believe in you, Grissom," Jim said sternly. "Welcome back, Sara. We all missed you."  
  
"Brian Koslow," Grissom said as he bid her goodbye and then the whole team followed suit.   
  
She sat back down feeling good being with her friends again. She picked up their favorite forensic journal and started reading to pass time.  
  
Catherine's motherly demeanor kicked in as she instructed everyone not to tell Nick about Sara being in the building. "Let him find out by himself."  
  
"Aye!" they all said before heading back to their posts.  
  
Nick finally finished his work just in time to give room to Greg and Warrick. "Hey guys, I'll be heading to the break room if you need anything."  
  
Watching his back, Greg said, "It'll be sooner than I thought…"  
  
Contrary to what he said, Nick went straight to the locker room for a shower and fresh clothes and his favorite cologne, Axe Pulse. Then, he went to the break room. He's in for the surprise of his life. But he didn't realize the woman sitting on the couches reading some journals because of his dire need of caffeine. So he went straight to the coffee pot and made himself a batch without any second glance.  
  
Sara was very engrossed in the article she was reading that she didn't become aware of the man entering the room. It instantly smelled of Axe Pulse which turned her on but reminded her of nothing. Anyway, the guy seemed like he hadn't noticed her too so what the heck.  
  
The shrill tone of a mobile phone pierced the air. Nick was irritated but took no note of it and kept an eye on the coffee maker. It wasn't his phone anyhow.   
  
The owner of the phone snapped out of the section of new forensic gadgets and dug around her purse for her phone. Without taking her eyes away from the periodical, she answered it. "Sidle." 


	4. chapter4

iAnd how we laugh and how we smile  
  
And how this heart was yours and mine  
  
And how a dream was out of reach  
  
I stood by you, you stood by me/i  
  
Just as Nick was getting very aggravated by the ringing, the owner answered it. Not in his wildest dreams could he comprehend what he was going to hear… "Sidle."  
  
He almost dropped the cup he was holding. "Sidle? Not Sara Sidle," he said to himself. "It just can't be." He listened to the conversation which was filled with "yeah" and "oh" and "It's okay". And he couldn't mistake the voice. "Don't risk a glance, Stokes. Don't…" But he just couldn't…  
  
Sara's co-worker back at San Francisco Carrie Simpson was calling. "How are you girl?" she said excitedly. "How's Vegas? How are the guys there?"  
  
"I'm fine and Vegas is fine… just how I left it. Uh, I don't know about the guys since I haven't been out much."  
  
"Duh, like you go out! So it's like this… we have a case here that I just couldn't solve. We need your ass back here, Sara."  
  
"Yeah? Oh well, you just have to cope without me for another 36 hours. By the way, I'm here in my old crime lab. You know… one of the best in the country."  
  
"Where that Nick guy works… right. Is he there?"  
  
Sara didn't risk a peek and quickly said, "No, he's not. Hey, girl… I have to call you back. Uh… good luck on your case and see you when I come back."  
  
"All right then, make sure you bring me something back…"  
  
"What a decapitated head, a decomp, or what?" she chuckled. "I'm kidding! This is Vegas after all. Okay …bye." She hung up and immersed herself back to the magazine.  
  
Now Nick was sweating bullets. The coffee was done and he downed a whole cup and was pouring another one. "It's now or it's never, Stokes. You got to face the music…" Slowly, he wheeled around and his breath was caught in his throat. "Sara…" but no voice came out. He stared at her long enough to melt her.  
  
His spine tingled when she chuckled at the article she was reading. He smiled when her eyes lit up in interest. He doesn't know how to approach her. Until he remembered the personalized coffee mugs Warrick gave them for Thanksgiving three years before. All of them has one, just like the one he was using. Sara left hers in the crime lab. He filled her cup with her usual mix… his mix… and gathered up the courage to approach her finally after two long and lonely years.   
  
"Oh please, it's nothing but colored fingerprint powder," she whispered to herself. The smell of strong coffee filled her nose. This reminded her of her mix… Nicky's mix. She paused and fought back tears. She tried to push the thoughts of Nick from her mind until a familiar coffee cup materialized in front of her accompanied with a voice she knew very, very well.  
  
"It's your usual blend, two lumps, two packets of crème, Hawaiian," Nick said trying to keep his voice sounding normal. Sara's hand came up slowly to grasp the cup. Their fingers brushed for a split second and electricity bolted through their veins.   
  
"Thanks," she said without looking up. She took a sip and felt the temperature go up within her body and in the room. The heat increased as she felt the part of the couch beside her shift under the weight of Nick. She can feel their proximity suffocate her. She took a healthy quaff of the delicious coffee and tried to calm her pounding heart.  
  
"So…" Nick started.  
  
"So…" Sara echoed.  
  
"You're back," he said with a lump in his throat. He looked like he was talking with the June-July issue of Cath's Vogue. "Permanently or just a visit?"  
  
"Just a visit," she answered in a heartbeat. She was so uneasy being beside him once more yet looking at a picture of animated milk cartons on what she was reading.   
  
"Sara…" he gasped as she said with him, "Nick…" They finally looked up into each other's eyes and felt the love they still felt for one another. "You go first…" Nick whispered.  
  
She put down the magazine she was reading and took another sip, "Uh… thanks for the coffee. I… uh… kind of missed it."  
  
His impending smile was diminished. "Damn it, why did you assume you'll hear those three words again from her?" he berated himself. "Oh… no problem. Well, Sara…" her heart broke as he murmured her name, "Welcome back." He stood up, gulped down his remaining coffee and said, "I'm only in half shift. I have to go. It's been nice seeing you again, my… I mean, Sara." He then turned to leave. For a second there, he was going to say 'my sweet'.  
  
She watched him leave her alone in the break room. Suddenly the room lost its warmth and the tears fell from her eyes once more. He was still the same Nick Stokes. The same neat hair, tight shirt that showcased his muscles, unchanged Texan drawl that made her weak in the knees… he was still the same Nicky. What did he think about her? She curled up into a ball and sobbed quietly not to draw attention to herself.  
  
Nick walked like he was in a walkathon to his Tahoe. He drove out aimlessly as he tried to digest what has happened. Sara Sidle… with him in the break room. The one he loved through all these years, finally back within his grasp. "But, Sara being Sara… she's untouchable." Then he remembered what Grissom said about being content. "She's the only one missing in my life. That's why I'm not content with myself. I'm not complete…" 


	5. chapter5

iWe took each day and made it shine  
  
We wrote our names across the sky  
  
We ride so fast, we ride so free  
  
And I knew that you had me/i  
  
Warrick found Sara curled up into a ball in the break room. He cradled her head to his lap and soothed her. He and Greg found Nick storming out of the lab. So he figured out that she's upset because of their encounter. "There, there Sara. It'll be okay. Nick is not mad, I know. He loves you, believe me," he told her.   
  
"Tell me about him, Warrick," she said sitting up. He wrapped his arm around her shoulders.  
  
"Well, ever since you left… he became you around this place." She gave him a questioning look. "Nick buried himself into work 24/7, working even during holidays and nights-off. He pulls off doubles every chance he can. He seldom goes out with us for breakfast anymore. He didn't have any serious girlfriends after you."  
  
"The last I was here, he was with Helen. What happened?" He gestured to her that they broke-up. "Why did he do that? He seemed happy with Helen. I assumed he was so I decided to leave."  
  
He tightened his hold on her. "Nick broke up with Helen because he loves you. When you left, he has been a wreck! Sometimes I would find him in his house crying his eyes out on, I presume what used to be your side of the bed. If ever he manages to sleep on this couch, he would call out your name every time and cry when he wakes up. I tell you, I've never seen any guy cry like that over a woman." Sara hugged her knees. "So you see, Nick loves you. I don't know why he walked out but I know he wants you back. I know too well that you still love him. If I were you, I'll find him and tell him…"  
  
Sara straightened up and gave Warrick a hug and a peck. Before leaving and taking his advice, she said, "Why did I fall in love with him instead of you?" They shared a laugh. "Please tell the others I'm going. Here's my number," she gave him her calling card. "Warrick, thank you…" She ran to her Tahoe and went out to find Nick.  
  
Time is running out. In a few hours, she'll be flying back to San Francisco and God knows when she'll be coming to Las Vegas again. "Nick, where are you?" she frantically asked over and over. She checked all the usual places they hung out and even his place. His Tahoe wasn't there. She decided to round the Strip once again. When she saw her car rental agency, by coincidence she saw a very familiar Tahoe pull up by bay #5. She then decided to leave her car off and hope for the worst.  
  
Nick went around in circles. Up this road, down this intersection until he ran low of gas. He stopped by a gas station which was beside a rent-A-car place. He filled his car and just as he was about to drive away, a knock on his passenger window distracted him. It was Sara. He hurriedly opened the door and she climbed in.  
  
"Hey," she said trying not to sound like she was crying. "Where are you going?"  
  
He shifted into gear and drove off even before the car behind them honked in irritation. "Wherever you want to go, Sara." They shared a smile.  
  
"Okay, why don't you go to the hotel where I'm staying, Nick," she said. "You know, where the convention participants are staying?"  
  
"Convention?" he chuckled. She couldn't help but smile again. "Sara Sidle needing to attend a forensic convention? Since when?"  
  
It was Sara's turn to chuckle. "Nick, you know too well that I want to do well in my craft. I want to be perfect in this. You know this is the only thing I can do."  
  
Traffic caught up to them. Nick took this chance to hold Sara's hand. They caught their eyes and he said, "You're already perfect, Sara. And this is not the only thing you can do. You are very amazing. Do you even know that?" They were talking like nothing happened to them in the past.   
  
Sara sighed and tightened her grasp onto Nick's larger hand. "I only believe what you tell me, Nick. Now that you just told me I'm amazing… maybe I am!"   
  
Nick made Sara look at him and he whispered, "Not maybe. You are amazing…" and closed in for a kiss. She returned it with equal intensity and parallel fervor until air was leaving them.  
  
"That was amazing," she whispered to his ear. "But we should go. The light turned green."  
  
The couple reached the hotel in record time without breaking the speed limit. They fell onto the waterbed their top clothes scattered on the floor and Sara's jeans undone. They kissed each other like they wanted to make up for lost time. This was their second chance.  
  
Nick had Sara's bra unfastened and was palming her bare breast when she hesitantly stopped him and sitting up. She wrapped herself with the quilt and rocked back and forth. "I can't… can't do this again," she whispered. "This… this… what we're doing… it's too painful for me to remember."  
  
He fully understood but he wanted this to be. This is HIS second chance – his opportunity. "Sara, please. I want to make it up to you. I never meant to hurt you… you know I love you… please believe me," he tried to soothe her but to no avail.   
  
Sara leaned into his arms and listened to him breathe. He was so warm and inviting and she believes him. "Nick," he shivered when his name escaped her pink lips, "just make me forget. I don't want to make the same mistake again." With no other words, Nick made love to her like there was no tomorrow.  
  
Afterwards, while they were enjoying the aftermath of love-making, Sara finally said, "I love you, Nick." He kissed the top of her head. "There will never be another one after you."  
  
"What do you mean, pumpkin?" he joked. "I'm still here… I'll always be here. And that's a promise." She said no more and drifted off the sleep. 


	6. chapter6

iPlease remember, please remember/i  
  
The next morning, Nick found himself alone on the bed. His clothes neatly folded beside him and there was a note. He sat up and read the memo that had Sara's neat lettering on it:  
  
Nick,  
  
Thank you for last night. I enjoyed it and you did make me forget. You made me forget that I was alone in this world… that I was an outcast. I thought no one will catch my fall. We made that promise to never let each other fall. You satisfied your promise… but I'm afraid I can't play my part.   
  
I appreciate you so much in many ways. The way you are 'Nick' just fascinates me. Makes me look down upon my 'Sara'. I never really believed you that night you asked me out on a formal date. I thought, "You, Nick Stokes asking me, Sara Sidle – a social outcast, for a date?" But you made a believer out of me… that I must not wallow in whatever stereotype I'm labeled.   
  
I love you… always remember that. But I want you to be happy… that's why I'm finally letting you go. I don't want you to grow old alone. I want to be with you but I do not find myself deserving of you. You deserve someone better. And it's not me…  
  
"Right is right, even if everyone is against it; and wrong is wrong, even if everyone is for it. - William Penn" Always believe that…  
  
Sara  
  
PS: You have to get out of that hotel room before 10am. I'll miss you.  
  
He reread the letter three times more and went numb. "Sara has let me go," he said to himself. Tears came running from his eyes as he stuffed the letter into his pocket and ran out the room to his Tahoe. He raced to the airport and scanned the small crowd of people for Sara. When his actions were futile, he sighed and turned to leave. Then he heard…  
  
"Looking for me?" Sara said from behind her.   
  
"Sara!" he almost screamed. "Sara, please. I don't want you to leave. You can work here again…"  
  
"I can't. San Francisco is my life, my family and my work," she explained. Then the loud speaker boomed over them saying that Sara's flight has begun boarding. "I have to go, Nick. It's been nice seeing you again." And they shared one last kiss. There they poured all the veiled love they failed to reveal in the time they've been together. Sara started crying again. "Nick, I really have to go."  
  
He pulled her closer and put his forehead against hers, "I love you… please remember that."  
  
"I will, Nick."  
  
b06/01/2004/b  
  
please review... thank you! 


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